Contemplations

 For a warm & thought-provoking slideshow... 

From "cutesey" to poignant; Prose to Ponder:    

• CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER?

   

  HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?

   

  WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN".. BUT IT'S ONLY A "PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS"? WHERE'S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO?

   

  ONCE YOU'RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY?

   

  WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX?

   

  WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE?

   

  HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE?

   

  WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY "SLEPT LIKE A BABY" WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS?

   

  IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING?

   

  WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU'RE ON TV?

   

  WHY DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO UP TALL BUILDINGS AND THEN PUT MONEY IN BINOCULARS TO LOOK AT THINGS ON THE GROUND?

   

  WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? THEY'RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY.

   

  WHY IS "BRA" SINGULAR AND "PANTIES" PLURAL?

   

  WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT?

   

  IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM?

   

  CAN A HEARSE CARRYING A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE ?

   

  IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CAN'T HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT?

   

  WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? THEY'RE BOTH DOGS!

   

  IF WILE E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN'T HE JUST BUY DINNER?

   

  IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM?

   

  IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS?

   

  DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE?

   

  WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE?

  WHY DO THEY CALL IT AN ASTEROID WHEN IT'S OUTSIDE THE HEMISPHERE, BUT CALL IT A HEMORRHOID WHEN IT'S IN YOUR BUTT?

  DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN YOU BLOW IN A DOG'S FACE, HE GETS MAD AT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU TAKE HIM FOR A CAR RIDE, HE STICKS HIS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW?

• Stunning Testimony       
  A man from Norfolk, VA called a local radio station to share this on Sept 11th, 2003, TWO YEARS AFTER THE TRAGEDIES OF 9/11/2001.
   
  His name was Robert Matthews. These are his words:
    
  A few weeks before Sept. 11th, my wife and I found out we were going to have our first child. She planned a trip out to California to visit her sister.  On our way to the airport, we prayed that God would grant my wife a safe trip and be with her. Shortly after I said 'amen,' we both heard a loud pop and the car shook violently. We had blown out a tire.  I replaced the tire as quickly as I could, but we still missed her flight.  Both very upset, we drove home.
  
  I received a call from my father who was retired NYFD. He asked what my wife's flight number was, but I explained that we missed the flight. My father informed me that her flight was the one that crashed into The southern tower. I was too shocked to speak. My father also had more news for me; he was going to help.. 'This is not something I can't just sit by for; I have to do something.'
  
  I was concerned for his safety, of course, but more because he had never given his life to Christ. After a brief debate, I knew his mind was made up.  Before he got off of the phone, he said, 'take good care of my Grandchild. Those were the last word s I ever heard my father say; he died while helping in the rescue effort.
  
  My joy that my prayer of safety for my wife had been answered quickly became anger. I was angry at God, at my father, and at myself. I had gone for nearly two years blaming God for taking my father away. My son would never know his grandfather, my father had never accepted Christ, and I never got to say good-bye.
  
  Then something happened. About two months ago, I was sitting at home with my wife and my son, when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my wife, but I could tell she wasn't expecting anyone. I opened the door to a couple with a small child. The man looked at me and asked if my father's name was Jake Matthews. I told him it was. He quickly grabbed my hand and said, 'I never got the chance to meet your father, but it is an honor to meet his son.'
   
  He explained to me that his wife had worked in the World Trade Centerand had been caught inside after the attack. She was pregnant and had been caught under debris. He then explained that my father had been the one to find his wife and free her.  My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my father giving his life for people like this. He then said, 'there is something else you need to know.'
   
  His wife then told me that as my father worked to free her, she talked to him and led him to Christ. I began sobbing at the news. Now I know that when I get to Heaven, my father will be standing beside Jesus to welcome me, and that this family would be able to thank him themselves .
   
  When their baby boy was born, they named him Jacob Matthew, in honor of the man who gave his life so that a mother and baby could live.
  
  This story should help us to realize this: God I s always in control.  We may not see the reason behind things, and we may never know this side of heaven, but God is ALWAYS in control.
  

• The Concert

  When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child was missing.
  Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage.

  In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the key board, innocently picking out "Twinkle,Twinkle Little Star."

  At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit.  Keep playing."

  Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato.

  Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience.

  The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great master played.  Only the classic, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

  Perhaps that's the way it is with God.

  What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy.  We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful, flowing music. 

  However, with the hand of the Master, our life's work can truly be beautiful.
  The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You may hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit.  Keep playing."

  May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there, helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.

  Remember, God doesn't seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips the 'called.'
  
  

  "Don't quit. Keep on playing."

  

• Do You Have An Eeyore In Your Life?    [John H. Sklare, Ed. D.]

  When my children were young, I read stories to them from the book series by A.A. Milne called Winnie the Pooh.  I’m sure you’re all aware of the wonderful characters Milne created to inhabit the Hundred Acre Wood where these fanciful tales took place.  I was enthralled by Pooh’s adventures and did my best to bring the fables to life; I even supplied different voices for the characters!

   

  A few days ago my son reminded me of how much he loved my impression of Eeyore.  I must admit, I did do that impression rather well.  His comment got me thinking about the character called Eeyore, and that is what I want to talk about today. 

     

  As you may recall, Eeyore is a pessimistic, gloomy and depressed old donkey who is a dear friend of Winnie the Pooh.  It is always a bit dark in Eeyore’s world because there is never any good news and never a reason to laugh or smile.  It occurred to me that we all have Eeyores in our lives and that the more time you spend with these characters, the more potential there is for their negativity to rub off on you.  I wrote an article about these people a while back called Personal Drainers.These foes can be lethal to your wellness and sense of optimism if you are not on guard.  Personal Drainers are the Eeyores in your life, so, with that said, my question for you today is this:  Can you identify the Eeyores in your life, and how do you deal with their constant negative banter?  Or, dare I ask, are you an Eeyore?

• In Florida , an atheist became incensed over the preparation of
  Easter and Passover holidays.  He decided to contact his lawyer about
  the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations
  afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
   
  The case was brought before a judge.  After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, 'Case dismissed!'
  
  The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said,
  'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case?  The Christians
  have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!'
  
  The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less care about his own atheists' holiday!'
  
  The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'
  
  The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st!  Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart,
  there is no God.'  Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his
  holiday!  Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!
  
  Way to go, Judge!  AMEN
  
  

  

• If you can... 

  If you can start the day without caffeine,

  If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
  If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
  If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
  If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
  If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
  If you can ignore a friend's limited  education and never correct him,
  If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
  If you can conquer tension without medical help,
  If you can relax without liquor,
  If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

  Then………………

  You Are Probably The Family Dog!