The Parable Of The Passenger…

Many years ago, as I was driving home from a day’s teaching and coaching water polo at Nordhoff High School, in a light but steady rain, I took the off ramp at the beginning of the Ojai freeway, and chose, on a whim, to take the lazy, less hectic way home, down the Avenue. 

As I passed under the freeway, there, standing in what shelter the overpass offered from the rain, was a tattered, bedraggled, somewhat dirty and wet from the rain, gentleman.   I pulled over and asked him if he needed help and he stated he sure could use a ride.  Before I could reply he said, “I know your truck is new and clean and fancy so I am sure you would rather I rode in the back, even though you just put in the carpeting and paneling back there.” “I’ll clean it up for you when I get out.”  He took a seat in the front of the bed and that allowed us to talk as I drove.  I could not help but notice his face in the rear view mirror and was especially drawn to his eyes and smile, both of which radiated a sense of peace, love and compassion. They radiated something that my soul immediately seemed to recognize and desire for itself.  “Since you are going to the grocery store before you go home, you wouldn’t mind dropping me there would you?”  Without thinking of what he said I did so.

As he crawled from the back of the pick-up, he smiled and quietly said, “Thanks for the ride, I’m sure we will be seeing one another again soon, God Bless.”

In the days to folIow I would reflect on our encounter from time to time, always going back to those penetrating eyes that seemed to look thru my heart and right into my soul, and that soft but firm voice that had such an aura of love, compassion and wisdom.

In the ensuing days, weeks, months, his parting remark that we would be seeing one another again soon began to almost haunt me.

On an increasingly frequent basis, as I was driving somewhere, alone, I would see a familiar figure along side the road waiting for a ride, dressed basically the same, looking no different.  I always stopped for him only to find he was going my way so I would offer him a ride and invariably, without asking or my saying anything, he would climb in the back and scoot up to the boot in the back window so we could talk. 

He always inquired about my well being, my family, my teaching and lifeguarding and seemed to be familiar with the answers before I could give them.

When I could turn the conversation to him he would always give a direct answer and generally in a way that seemed to say more than just what his words contained or inferred. 

Once upon asking his name, he replied “Joshua” and offered little more.  As I introduced myself he told me my name and began to share some of what he knew about me.  As I inquired as to how he knew me so well, he smiled that special smile, and said quietly “I know and always have.”

Once again I was mystified but somewhat speechless as I did not know what to say or ask.  Verses from God’s word, read many year ago and seldom committed to memory began to increasingly come to the forefront of my mind, haunting me.

As the rides and our encounters became more frequent, our discussions began to center increasingly on the issues of life and living life well.  As these continued I became more and more curious about so many things but totally unsure what to say.

I gained so much by remaining silent and savoring each word without question.

We then went thru a period where I did not see him at all and as this period grew longer and longer I missed our encounters and his words of wisdom more and more.

I even found my self praying I would encounter him again, something rather new and different for me.

During this period I sold the truck and purchased a new van and as I drove home from a trip north to Santa Barbara in the first few days of having it, I spotted what appeared to be the same familiar face on the road side. 

As I got closer, he put his right hand on his heart and extended it, saying in ASL, I love you.  Thinking he had no idea who was driving this strange vehicle, I was perplexed but pulled over to see if he needed assistance.  As I pulled along side him and opened the passenger door Joshua said he was going to Ventura and needed a ride, would I be able to accommodate him.  As I said yes, he reached for the side door handle, as if to get in the back.  I turned and said, please sit up here with me.  His reply was short and to the point, “I thought you never would ask.”

As we headed toward home I asked if he was in a hurry and he replied, “ No.”  As we approached the old highway 1 off ramp I suggested we might take the old road home in a leisurely fashion and have some time to talk.  Again his reply was brief, “fine.”

As our discussion got deeper and deeper, he turned and said, “You have been talking to me a lot lately, and I have heard every word, what can I do for you?”   And yet I had not seen him for months, what was he saying?

Finally, I know I knew, though I did not want to accept it or believe it, who I seemed to be talking to. Our conversation turned to one that was more one of answers to and advice on the issues that seemed to consume my life at the time.  He was answering questions that I had silently uttered in prayer months ago and have given up on months before.  I was amazed at the wisdom of his words and his advice and how he knew every problem and issue that I faced or was dealing with.

After a number of these times together, I again found my self embroiled with even more perplexing and demanding issues.  These were ones I did not want to deal with and was not certain I could, yet for whatever reason I did not seek out him or his advice though I knew he was always there for me. And always seemed to have the appropriate answer.

A little later after I had undergone replacement of both hips and both knees and was recovering well and appeared to be back on the road to good solid health a lady hit my newest knee with her grocery cart as hard as possible and within a day it was swollen like a basketball. 

As I was on my way to northern California to see my dying mother, I ignored the swelling knee and continued to do so until it had swollen so much I could scarcely walk or drive . 

I made it home to my parents home and back, somehow, and then went went to my Orthopede as quickly as possible. 

He jabbed a horse size needle in my knee, pulled out what seemed like quarts of yellow and greenish yuck and sent it off the lab immediately, gave me some pills for pain and swelling and sent me home. Late afternoon  that same day, he called and said preliminary tests showed an infection but nothing to be concerned about. 

I was elated, felt as if a burden had been lifted from me and with a little healing I would quickly be back to running my business, Outdoor And Aquatic Recreation Specialists that I loved so dearly and life would soon be back to normal.

Tuesday, late afternoon, a call came from Doc’s office asking me to be there at 11:00 the morning.

Somehow, as I drove to the office I had a feeling erie feeling that the news was not going to be good.  I was not disappointed, unfortunately.

My prosthesis would have to be removed, the coming Friday, the surgery could wait no longer as the infection was a deep staph infection. I would spend at least 12 weeks in a care home, getting massive IV doses of very powerful antibiotics until the staph which had taken residence in my knee was gone beyond any doubt.  During that time I would not be able to put any more weight on my left leg which would contain no sembelence of a knee, than would break a raw egg.  In addition I would probably have moderate to severe constipation and diarrhea, together.  I would then be home for two or three days and then have a second replacement put in.  This would be followed by a week plus possibly in the hospital and then home for an extended period of home therapy.

Having heard this, still somewhat in a state of shock and disbelief, I gimped out to the van and headed out to get something to digest besides the news.  My whole world seemed to have just fallen apart in front of me.

I don’t even remember driving there,  but found myself walking into the old Loops, now Main Street Restaurant and Steak House.

As I headed toward my usual booth I realized it was occupied by a single person whom I instantly recognized as Joshua.  As I sat down and started to ask him what he was doing here, he smiled and said, “I’ve been waiting for you.” “So the news wasn’t too good.” 

I had learned long ago not to question statements like this or ask him how he knew.  It was time to truly listen, with my heart and soul, not my ears.

As we talked, seemingly for hours, he asked, “What did you tell me one your theme song is?”  Frank Sinatra’s “I did It My Way” I answered,  “And why that particular song and by Frank?” 

I took a deep breath, considered his question for a second and said, because so many times in my life my parents, especially my mother, expressed their displeasure with my being a teacher and my beach lifeguarding as well.  Mom even asked me if I was ever going to get a real job.   I had long ago decided to live my life, my way, for me, no one else.

“Did you ever consider another job?” 

Knowing you, I think you know all the answers to that.

“Yes, but I wouldn’t mind you refreshing my memory.”

Yes, quite a few in fact, Supervising some municipal pools, Permanent Beach Lifeguard Supervisor, Harbor Parol, YMCA Camp Director, there were a few…

“And…”

They just didn’t seem right for me.

“How did you know?”

My heart, my soul and my spirit always seem to say they just were not right.

“Nothing else influenced you or played a role?”

Well, nothing other than door always seeming to open for the jobs or changes that came along and  I accepted those, like my going back to VC after a sixteen year break and  being disabled at that point.

“Do you think it was all coincidence?”

You know I don’t believe in…

“Yes I know, so think about it…”

I began to realize where this was headed, something that I had not wanted to admit, or face, ever since I had first encountered Joshua.

At that moment, the gravity and depth of what I was going to go thru and the changes that were about to take place in my began

to truly hit me and dominate my total consciousness. 

My business (OAARS) would be a thing of the past.  No more exploring the caves of the Channel Islands, the beauty and grandeur  of Baja California, the tranquility of the Colorado River, the majesty of the islands in Puget sound and the inside passage, biking the coast of California or the East Coast, diving the beautiful waters of our channel, taking the drop on clean, pure, Rincon wave, using kayaks or surfboards to introduce gangbangers to a world they never dreamed existed.  All that gone, to apparently be no more, to be replaced by a bed in a care home, a leg that had no knee and I could not walk on, a replacement knee that I had heard so many bad stories of. Then the realization that I had already had to deal with just about every worst case scenario with joint replacements struck me. What now?  How about my home, Who would care for it, water my plants, take care of my yard, love and take care of my parrot?

As this all whirled around my head I began to pray, no, to simply talk to, to beg God: I surrender, I give up, I cannot and do not want to deal with all this, you take over, I surrender, I give it all to you, you take the reins, the wheel, the helm, take my life wherever you wish, simply take it, it is yours.  I surrender, completely, totally, unconditionally.  I am yours.”

As I uttered these words in my heart and soul, I could not help but to begin to cry and yet to also feel a relief, a peace, a freedom I had not felt for a few years.

I suddenly knew to the depths of my soul that I had a place, a power, a someone beyond all someones to turn to, someone who would help carry both my burdens and my self.

All this occurred in an instant, a tiny fragment of time and existence.

When I opened my and looked across the table, I saw a smile, an understanding and a sense of peace on Joshua’s face I had never seen before, anywhere, on anyone.

He looked at me and said, “That was a wonderful prayer.  Perhaps it was about time for it.”

Suddenly I was driven to ask, how do you spell your name?

“How do you spell it?”

Joshua I replied.

“Umm, well yes, but it can also be spelled Yeshua he replied…”

Before I could react to the many epiphanies roaring thru my consciousness he added, “Why don’t we leave and perhaps go down to the beach and continue our talk there…”

As I stood up somewhat befuddled and in a daze and reached for my money, He said, “not to worry the bill has been paid, in full as I always do…”

The realizations, thoughts, awakenings were all coming faster than I could process.  As we walked out to “Dolly” (she was more than just a set of big wheels) the beast of a 4x4 ford diesel van I drove, he turned and said, “Wouldn’t it be better for you if I drove?  “You do trust me to do so don’t you?”

He then reached down into the pocket on the door where I stashed the keys as though he knew exactly where they were, then reached under the dash and hit the switch for the electric fuel pump.

I quietly, my mind, heart, soul and spirit all still spinning opened the passenger door and hopped in.

We drove straight to my favorite beachside spot outside Ventura in silence  My mind was now racing even more and yet I was becoming increasingly at ease and peaceful.  The only thing he said as we drove was, “I have often wondered how long it would take for you to consider giving me the wheel.”

After we parked where we had a good view of the Islands and the surf, He swiveled the driver’s seat toward mine and I did the same toward him.  He then looked at me with a golden  glow seeming to emanate from His entire body and said., “ What does the term surrender mean to you?

So many things from our relationship over the years, and even before we met, went thru my mind at once, at the moment I could not reply.

“As you said, you are facing a lot of difficult days, months and even years to come.” Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone helping you thru that?” “ I’m always there for you if you ask.”  “It is even easier for Me, as well as you, if you put Me in charge.  Let Me take Wheel and do the driving.”

The realization and understanding of what He had just said, as well as almost everything He had said since we first met that day, years ago, came over me like a beautiful sunrise followed by a warm, gentle rain.

Again before I could react, He said ”Before you answer, really consider what I am asking, proposing and offering to you.

Surrender to me, must be complete, total, unconditional.”  “It must be from the heart, soul, and spirit, which I now feel it is.  I will tell you, you cannot even begin to imagine the benefits of such a decision, I might even say they are Heavenly.” 

With that, He smiled and chuckled a little and said “What do you think.”

Suddenly the guy who couldn’t carry a tune in an eighteen wheel truck began to sing, “I surrender all…”

Life has never been the same since…

That’s not to say I do not continue to live in pain, have my problems, not meet obstacles that seem totally insurmountable, but when I do, well I just take them to the Skipper of the ship and let Him chart the course and determine what actions to take..

I even have a couple of additional songs I sing regularly,.. “Amazing Grace” and “On This Rock I Stand…”

Be careful who you show a little kindness to, it might come back in ways that will astound you…

Listen to your heart and your sprit when you are moved to reach out to someone in need, you never know what a gesture like that might lead to.

Your future might depend upon this.

This has all been some eight or nine years ago now.

Do I feel I have lost something, lost a life that I will never regain or experience again, no, not in any respect.

Life has changed drastically, in so many ways for the better, it is a true blessing.

My extended family now includes some of the most beautiful people I have ever been privileged to meet and work with.  I can now say that I feel I am finally doing truly what the Lord wanted me to do for sometime, and it is something special, something that many people can not, or would not want to do.  I am truly blessed.

Yes, I wake up in pain daily to a body that does not want to function in the way it was designed to do.  It’s is just a body though, a means of getting this heart and soul where it is supposed to go.  My pain is a means of reminding me constantly that I still need Him, of the pain He suffered, of how much pain there is in this world, of how many suffer from far more and worse pain, especially of the heart.

And yes, I do still sing, new songs, new words, new directions. At this moment it’s “Do Lord, do Lord oh do remember me…” and I know he does every moment of every day…

You might look for that needy stranger alongside the road of your life.  Offering Him a ride could change your life completely…